L has a Sugar Overdose
by HaibanHollow
Summary: Matsuda being as childish as he is is sent to go get more sugar cubes because L so desires it. With Matsuda being more nonobservant then most just bought something that will unleash hell upon the other members of the task force. Let the insanity begin...
1. Chapter 1: Sugar please!

**L has a Sugar Overdose**

All Characters are Owned and Created by Tsugumi Ohba.

**HOW TO USE IT**

FOR ALL YOU _AVERAGE_ HUMANS I WILL MAKE THIS AS SIMPLE AS I CAN FOR YOUR TINY SQUISHY BRAINS. THE HUMANS IN THIS STORY ARE RATHER STRANGE AND MAY EVEN APPEAR OUTLANDISH TO YOU _AVERAGE_ HUMANS. AND THE REASON BEHIND THIS IS THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS FANFIC WHOM IS, QUITE LITERALY, THE FIRST LETTER OF THE TITLE IS VERY… OH HOW MAY I PUT THIS? PECULIAR? BIZARRE? ODD PERHAPS? WELL YOU'LL FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF. BESIDES HE, WHOSE NAME IS ONLY A LETTER, THERE IS ONE OTHER WHOM IS ABOVE YOU _AVERAGE_ HUMANS, WITH YOUR TINY SQUISHY BRAINS, IS A TEEN WITH A SQUISHY BRAIN THAT WILL PUT YOUR TO SHAME, THE ONE WITH A ONE LETTER NAME CALLS HIM **KIRA** (a popular hero/murderer who kills the bad guys, and a cop killer to those who get in his way. The name KIRA originated from his many Japanese fans as the romaji version of the English word killer therefore KIRA.)

I HOPE THIS IS SIMPLE ENOUGH FOR YOUR BRAINS BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING SIMPLER THEN THIS SO PLEASE ENJOY THIS SUGARY FAN MADE FICTIONAL STORY BECAUSE THE WRITER HAD A HYPER TIME MAKING THIS… AND ONE MORE THING BEFORE I GO, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE WITH YOUR SUGAR?

-HAIBAN HOLLOW

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Part 1: Sugar Please

A long boring day at the L headquarters located in the Konto region of Japan. All members of the task force study and restudy old and new information that they have that may lead them to Kira. Some more then others.

"Matsuda, go out and buy me more sugar cubes." L ordered to the only _male_ air-brain member of the task force.

"Why do I always have to go shopping, why can't Mogi go do it?" whines Matsuda.

"Because, Matsuda, Mogi contributes, you don't." L says dully as he munches on a chocolate bar.

"Fine." Matsuda says fuming as he leaves the headquarters.

Matsuda goes to the nearest convenience store swiping all boxes on the nearest shelf of one specific brand of sugar cubes with a little sugar fairy mascot clean into his small shopping cart. The little one-pound boxes over flowed the cart. Walking up to the counter the young female cashier give him a strange look.

"Um, is there anything else you need sir," asks the cashier giving him a slightly awkward smile.

"No, this should be," he stops mid sentence hearing his cell-phone. Looking at the cell screen that said blocked number, he steps away from the counter to get some privacy. He answers it, "Hello."

"I also need you to pick up some pocky while your out, that won't be to much trouble will it?"

"Of course not," Matsuda says sarcastically, "is there anything else I can get you?"

There's a brief pause on the other end of the phone. "Nope," L says on the other end before the call ends abruptly. Matsuda snaps the phone shut and shoves in his pants pocket and quickly grabs a case of pokey of the shelf and brings it to the front counter.

"Is that all sir?" asks the cashier.

"Yes, yes it is." Matsuda waits as the cashier scans and bags each of the boxes of sugar cubes.

He then proceeds to carry it all out the shop to his car simultaneously. The cashier asks him if he needed any help from over the counter. Matsuda politely declines the offer saying that he was use to it. The young cashier watched with worry through the shops glass window as he somehow managed to get all of the bags and a flat of pocky into his car without dropping anything. He waves goodbye as he drives past the window out of the parking lot and into midday traffic.

Finally back at headquarters.

Matsuda walks in with the the bags and flat of pocky. "Good work Matsuda," L comments seeing his desired goods. "Thank you for contributing, you are excused now," L shews him of on goes back to whatever he was doing before Matsuda _barged_ in. Watari thanked Matsuda as he took the _groceries_ from him. Matsuda grumps about not being appreciated as he huffs up stairs to his room unknowing of the havoc he has just set apon his fellow taskforce members in the L headquarters... (place evil smile here)

(bah ah ah ah![evil laugh of doom])

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Please Review! I would love to hear comments for one thing! And because this is actually the longer version of the original story which i could post if asked to do so and thank you for reading!

-Haiban Hollow


	2. Chapter 2: New Blend?

I do not own any of the characters or L, but I do own a plushie of him… and two pins, and a poster, and magnet…! Well that and all the books and live action movies… that is all. I think…

Any-who! On to part TWO! And thank you for taking interest in my madness.

-Haiban Hollow

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Chapter Two: New Blend?

At the L headquarters.

Matsuda is in his room staying _out-of-the-way_ while the rest of the task force is down stairs contributing to the case.

Watari replaces an empty bowl for a new bowl full of the sugar cubes, which Matsuda bought, as L starts on a new box of pocky, which Matsuda also bought, without inspecting the box as he opens it. He takes a bite out of a stick and comments, "Matsuda bought _Men's _Pocky." L glares at the box for two seconds then continues eating.

"What wrong with _Men's_ Pocky, Ryuzaki? Pocky is Pocky, isn't it," Light asks oblivious of his own stupidity causing L to give him an 'are-you-really-as-stupid-as-Matsuda' look. "What," Light asks knowing the look after doing it himself on numerous others.

Pocky is not pocky Light-kun. I take offense to that Light-kun and think you should you should apologize to the pocky for being so rude." L hold a box into Light's face. Light swats it out of his face.

"I'm not apologizing to your damn pocky. All they are is biscuit sticks covered in chocolate, Ryuzaki," Light glares at L finding the argument childish.

L disregards the most-likely-now broken box of pocky. He stacks the sugar cubes into a tower contemplating what to say next to get a reaction from the teen, "Only Kira would say that." Watari pores L a fresh cup of coffee as Light fumes in the seat next to him.

"Are you still on about that! I've already told you I'M NOT KIRA," Light growls out the last three words.

"Which makes me suspect you are even more." L says dully dropping a couple cubes in his tea and stirs it with a spoon.

"Please stop you arguing. There is more urgent business at hand. Save the arguing for another time please," Watari pleads to the two.

Light lets out a breath releasing all his anger and frustration with L for the time being. "Watari is right, we need to find Kira before he strikes again." The other members agreed by having ignored their arguing from the start.

L simply continues to add more sugar cubes.

Finally sufficed with the sugar to coffee ratio he takes a sip. He is immediately perked up. Staring into the depths of the coffee he is amazed by its effects on his mind suddenly as the mind suddenly seemed clear of all troubling thoughts. "Watari, are you using a new blend," L asks as he stares almost hypnotized in to the cup, "It must be something new." L continues to sip at his coffee.

"Ryuzaki, I haven't changed the blend," Watari replies a bit puzzled but brushes of the though soon after.

"Then perhaps it's just me," L says quickly draining the cup and uses his long boned index finger to scrap the non-dissolved sugar from the bottom addicted to the taste. Watari refills L's cup with more coffee as L stacks the sugar cubes until it tips. He examines one of the cubes and plops it in his mouth and studies the taste as he adds the rest into his cup. The sugar-bowl now empty Watari brings over another larger bowl to replace the empty one. L takes a tip of sugar and coffee and stares into space contemplating. "But I can't be wrong," L says without much warning, the members stop what ever they are doing to look at L, well all except Light.

"And why can't you be wrong, Ryuzaki," Light asks as he rereads an old news report on one of the computers, not giving L much mind.

"I can't be wrong because I am L and L is never wrong." Okay now that was new, Light had never heard that before, only now does he turn to look at L. He turns to see L having downed the coffee already and start in on the bowl of sugar cubes, and Watari giving L a strange look as well. "But if I am wrong which I can't be wrong because I am L," all while eating the contents of the sugar bowl.

"L? Are you okay," Mogi asks seeing as L isn't usually this unusual sounding on a regular basis. The pairs of eyes follow L as he jumps off the chair and stars to pace back and forth still consuming the bowl's seemingly never ending contents.

"Mogi-san I have absolutely no idea why you'd think that. I feel absolutely fine. No, that's not the right word for I am L and know better words to describe this feeling. I feel great, fantastic, no I feel SuPeRtRaMeNdUs! I feel like I can fly, like I can do ANYTHING!" standing on top of the couch with the bowl at his hip with one hand he points at Light Yagami with that other. "And you are Kira."

The looks on their faces…. priceless.

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I was wanting to update earlier but babysitting calls! Have a nice father's day!

Please review! and thank you for reading!

-Haiban Hollow


	3. Chapter 3: How Dare You

I do not own Death Note... for if i did L and Rem would still be around, and something to the lines of Rem somehow becoming human because she showed compassion and her and L fall in love and life semi-happily ever after. There for proving I do not own Death Note.

Sorry for the late update fore I did not know where to stop for the end of this chapter and could not find time with my editor to bounce off ideas that and I'm all out of sugar cubes(T^T). thx for reading! And I love the reviews very much! Thank you!

[changing rating to teen just in case...] Why? because Aizawa swears... **change of plan for the time being.** I am temperarily switching it over back to **K+** rating because of the **word improve for the _'dirty'_ words** until asked or I deside to change it back so get a good laugh! I will _slant _and **bold** all changes if i find the urge to change it back Later. Have a good laugh because it makes it all that more funny. ^w^ also anything else that may make me have to up the rating. I'm sure you can figure out the changes.

-Haiban Hollow

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Chapter 3: How Dare You

Light's father broke the silence, "But L, you said you didn't suspect my son anymore."

L pipes back, "Don't you know that everybody lies. Isn't it obvious that I still think he is Kira because he's still of use?"

Yagami-san growls bites back, "What! Do you think that everyone here can be Kira?"

L gives a snooty pout, "No. Just Light-kun." Oddly enough L seemed more childish then they'd **ever** seen him… and that's pretty hard to do.

"What in the name of Kami happened to you, L," Aizawa asks L "Were acting your perfectly usual-_abnormal_ **self** just five minutes ago, but now you're standing on the **_flying_** couch! What the **_dingle berry_** happened to you? You sound like Matsuda!"

L gives a 'how-dare-you' look and states offended by the comparison, " I do not sound like Matsuda! Why would you say that about me, L!" L does a feminine hand to the chest gesture with a look the clearly reads 'I-can't- believe-you-just-said-that-and-about-me!' facial excretion.

Aizawa stands abruptly slamming his hands on the table with a pulsing vain in his forehead yelling, "Just _**shuppet**_! You're sounding like Misa! What the **_fuddlewacket_** is wrong with you!"

"I think I know why." Everyone turns to Light. He holds up one of the sugar cube boxes, "The sugar cubes that Matsuda got are super caffeine enriched." Reading the book, " It says the serving size it two cubes, keeps you awake and aware for six hours. Side effects of taking more then a single serving will cause hyper awareness and show strange irrational behavior." Everyone turns to L standing on the couch eating sugar cubes from the large metal bowl on his at his hip.

"You're saying L has a sugar high," asks Mogi.

"More caffeine then sugar but yes," replied Light.

"More like a sugar overdose if you ask me," Aizawa comments it to an old _**pug**_ bust a few years back remembering how some of the people watching a stash got all _**'special'**_**_ sugar_** happy and nearly died from over dosage.

The problem now. L was halfway threw the bowl and didn't look like he'd be stopping anytime soon.

Light slowly approaches L with an outstretched hand motioning for the bowl. "Give me the sugar cubes, Ryuzaki," Light says in a calm steady voice as if asking a stubborn child to give back what they took without asking. Well he might as well be talking to child for L himself said he was childish and with the super high it was personified ten fold.

"**NO**," the self-proclaimed 'all-mighty' L declares as he sores off the black leather couch leaving imprints in the stretched leathery plush cushions. His long pale boney fingers clamp onto the bowl with all his sugary-caffeine induced energy pulsing through his veins not willing to let go of his presently most prized position. For Kira would have to kill him first before he would ever let the tightly packed sugar cubes from his grip. "Their MINE and **you CaN't MaKe ME!"**

…He just cracked. (**0.o**)

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Thank U 4 Reading! Now please Review!


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